Arachnophobia

I'm not a very "phobic" person. I used to be claustrophobic as a child. I was DEATHLY afraid of elevators- particularly the idea of getting stuck in an elevator. I could only ride alone in a glass elevator, and even then, I didn't trust that strangers watching me panic inside a stuck elevator would have the heart to help me.

But this blog post isn't about the claustrophobia I've grown out of- it's about the arachnophobia I'll NEVER grow out of.

I hate spiders. They have more legs, and probably more eyes, than I do. Most of them can outrun me too (ha). Well...today I was walking down the hall and something fell from the ceiling down my shirt. Eh...surely it's just dust, right? It's never just dust.

I made it about 50 yards to my BFF's desk:
"OMG...something fell down my shirt!"

"What was it?"

"I don't know"....I look...*GASP* "A spider!"

No kidding, she jumped at least 3 feet back from me!

Suddenly people looked at me more like a leper in that moment than they did when I had a cough last week. I had a spider in my shirt and I had no intention of reaching in it to get it out or stripping in front of my coworkers!

I would have loved to scream, but I heard with tarantulas, it's better to stay calm because they attack when they sense fear. I know this dime-sized spider wasn't a tarantula, but I wasn't sure if the rules applied across the board, and I'm at work...gotta maintain a sense of professionalism so the VP of Marketing doesn't see you running down the hall tearing your shirt off to get a spider out. I don't really see a promotion coming from that scenario (at least not in my line of work).

I drug my 2 nearest female coworkers to the bathroom with me...I couldn't face this beast alone. I was shaking and starting to sweat. The 2 bathroom stalls in the closest bathroom were full. We went into the executive suite...I was ready to pop into my boss' office (luckily he wasn't in there) and dig the spider out there, but we made it another 30 yards to the bathroom where I ripped off my jacket and shook out my shirt. The spider plopped on the ground and in true girl-fashion we sprung back. I threw a paper towel on the floor over it but it ran. My brave coworker stomped it with her stiletto several times till it was unrecognizable.

I'm safe. I survived, and I feel like I did so with professional poise. Now I'm just wearing turtlenecks to work!